Why I Started a Women in STEM Mentoring Circle in Kuala Lumpur

Three years ago, I was sitting in a mamak stall near my apartment in Bangsar. It was late on a Friday night. I was alone, eating roti canai, feeling sorry for myself. I had just come back from a conference where I was the only woman in a room of fifty engineers. Again. It happens so often in Malaysia that you think you would get used to it. But you never do.

I am an electrical engineer. I work in the energy sector. I love my job. I love the puzzles, the problem solving, the feeling when something you designed actually works. But I was lonely. Not in my personal life. I have friends and family who love me. But professionally, I felt isolated. There was no one I could talk to about the specific challenges of being a woman in STEM in Kuala Lumpur.

That night at the mamak, I had an idea. What if I started a small group? Nothing fancy. Just a few women getting together to talk about their careers, share advice, and support each other. I did not know if anyone would come. But I figured it was worth a try.

I posted on LinkedIn. I messaged a few women I had met at events. I asked around in some online groups. Within a week, twelve women had said yes. We met at a cafe in Publika. I was nervous. What if no one showed up? What if it was awkward? But almost everyone came. And it was not awkward. It was wonderful.

Our group is simple. We meet once a month. Sometimes at a cafe. Sometimes at a coworking space. Sometimes at someone's apartment. We have no formal agenda. We just talk.

Someone might be preparing for a promotion and want advice on how to make her case. Someone else might be thinking about leaving her job to start a company and needs a sounding board. Someone might just be tired and need to vent about how hard it is to be taken seriously in a male dominated workplace. We listen. We share our own experiences. We ask questions. We do not judge.

Over time, the group has grown. We have an online chat where we share job postings, interesting articles, and words of encouragement. We celebrate each other's wins. When someone gets a new job or finishes a big project, we cheer. When someone struggles, we hold space for her.

We have also started doing more structured things. Resume reviews. Mock interviews. Skill sharing sessions where one of us teaches something she knows well. Last month, one of our members who works in data science taught the rest of us how to use a new visualization tool. It was free and it was better than any paid training I have ever taken.

I cannot overstate what this group has meant to me and to the other women in it. Before we started, many of us felt like we were navigating our careers alone. Now we have a community. We have each other.

One of our members got a promotion after practicing her presentation with the group. Another one switched from a job she hated to a role she loves because someone in the group heard about an opening and recommended her. A third finally felt confident enough to ask for a raise after we helped her practice the conversation. She got it.

But the impact is not just about tangible outcomes. It is about the feeling of not being alone. Knowing that there are other women in KL who understand what you are going through. Who have your back. Who will tell you the truth even when it is hard to hear.

I have also noticed a shift in myself. I used to doubt whether I belonged in engineering. Now I know I do. I used to stay quiet in meetings. Now I speak up. I used to think I had nothing to offer other women. Now I know that just showing up and being present is already a gift.

It has not all been smooth. Running a group takes time and energy. There have been months when I was too tired to organize a meeting. But someone else always stepped up. That is the beauty of a community. It does not rest on one person's shoulders.

We have also had to figure out how to handle differences. Not everyone agrees on everything. Some of us are more traditional. Some are more radical. Some want to work within the system. Some want to change it. That is okay. We do not have to be identical to support each other.

Another challenge is that not every woman in STEM in KL knows about us. We are still small. We mostly reach people through word of mouth and LinkedIn. That is fine for now. But I hope one day we can grow enough to reach every woman in this city who needs support.

And of course, the pandemic was hard. We could not meet in person for over a year. We switched to Zoom. It was not the same. But we kept showing up. And when we finally met again in person, it felt like a reunion. We hugged. Some of us cried. We realized how much we had missed each other.

If you are reading this and thinking about starting your own mentoring circle, here is what I have learned.

Start small. Do not wait until you have a perfect plan or a big venue. Just invite a few women to coffee. See who shows up. Grow from there.

Keep it simple. You do not need a formal structure. You do not need agendas and minutes. You just need a regular time and place to meet and talk.

Be consistent. Pick a day and time that works for most people and stick to it. Predictability helps people show up.

Do not try to fix everything. Your job is not to solve everyone's problems. Your job is to create a space where women can support each other. Trust them to figure out their own solutions.

Ask for help. You do not have to do it alone. Ask someone else to co host. Rotate who leads the conversation. Share the load.

Be patient. Building a community takes time. Some months will feel like nothing is happening. That is okay. Keep going. The impact will show up when you least expect it.

If you are a woman in STEM in Kuala Lumpur and you have been feeling alone, please reach out. You do not have to figure this out by yourself. There is a group of women here who would love to meet you.

We are not experts. We are not perfect. We are just women who decided to stop being isolated and start being together. That decision changed everything for me. It can change everything for you too.

You can find us on MakePossible. Join the community. Send me a message. Come to our next gathering. You will be welcome. You will be seen. You will be supported.

And if you are not in Kuala Lumpur, start your own circle. Wherever you are. The women in your city are waiting for someone to take the first step. It could be you.

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